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The White Lighter Album

by lavender sky

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1.
intro 02:49
2.
3.
chaos around me everything is changing im scared as shit but somehow happy chaos around me everything is changing i know its good for me its all part of aging i love it, i hate it its all part of life i learn it, embrace it it'll be alright chaos around me everything is changing i know its good for me its all part of aging chaos around me everything is changing
4.
decay 02:45
take me away let me see another day take me away where ill stay where ill lay sleep all day where ill lay and decay take me away i cant stand another day take me away where ill lay where ill lay sleep all day where ill lay and decay
5.
i hate myself, but i hope i can love you more than i could love myself
6.
ive been feeling better since the sun came out its easier to breathe with a sigh of relief with the cold one air feels thicker smiling, happy just for a moment everything is alright winter is over been feeling better survived another winter weather
7.
im stuck in the road going to a place unknown scared of whats ahead if ill be able to defend gearing up the tracks slip and side away will i make it to another day
8.
stability 02:04
stability tranquility where i want to be i seek stability itll be best for me to get a grasp on future's past pasts me by dont ask why itll happen one day and youll be happy to say ive made it ive created a life for me stability tranquility its where i want to be
9.
I needed a change of space to get out of this place where my mind becomes entangled twisted in knots my brain is shot thinking what can i do im finally out out and about distracting myself from fear fear that i got lost inside my own thougts waiting to disappear
10.
arent you scared cause im scared too frightened about not having a clue what is going on here and how do i get out starting to yell and twist and shout now shake it up baby im all freaked out having a great time there aint no doubt
11.
nightmares 02:52
im tired of these nightmares plaguing my head theyve bee happening since who knows when they keep me up at night when i escape once the birds chirp its been too late i seem to suffocate under all the weight unrest in my head it does create

about

this album is the result of recording a winters worth of music on a 4-track cassette recorder from 2019 into 2020. its about the confusion of being in your 20s, the confusion of the political world around us, and above all, the existential dread of being a 20 something during this shitstorm of american history as well as the mental health needed to get through it all.

(As for the name, I just always have carried white bic lighters, because everyone needs some bad luck in their lives)

credits

released December 11, 2020

Album Credits:
Thank you to everyone who has assisted me in the creative process as well as just being there for me. Thank you Doug Gallo for mastering tracks 1-4, and for mixing and mastering track 5, much love. Thank you to my friends who constantly asked how the music is going, as well as my friends that i will love til the end, you know who you are. Thank you to Lee Ranaldo from Sonic Youth for supplying me with your copy of The White Album by The Beatles for my album cover. Thank you to Velvet Underground, Ty Segall, Sonic Youth, and King Gizzard for your inspiration on this record, as well as all my friends who have inspired me. Finally, thank you to the person who sold me their 4-track cassette recorder, as well as anyone who has ever supported my music, i love you all. Unconditionally.

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lavender sky Nutley, New Jersey

A lofi project of mine putting my poetry to song

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